Irritation

How a normal being gets irritated with their life and day to day dealings once the person have to deal with day with no smiles.  Here is an email I got from one of my friend's memoir is just that irritation how he felt and beautifully described.

One of the most disturbing and mind reckoning audio clip or music we call it, is the alarm tone and mine one strikes at 5 o clock every morning since past 8 days, even in Saturdays and Sunday. So I wake up all sleepy and tired my joints hurting because of the last days cycling and again I have to go to work. I try switching on the lights of the bathroom but again I find no switch, damned switched is broken and I have to connect the wires to switch it on. Oh yes, this is Nepal sweetheart no lights, load shedding in the morning is a normal case. I struggle to find my toothbrush and I start brushing my teeth, I open the tap and yes of course the water runs dry, and I m left with a mouth full of toothpaste foam. This is very normal in my house as water is a problem everywhere in Kathmandu. I rush to another bathroom wash my face and since I have no time to bath because I have to be in the hotel at sharp 6 or my boss will make my day very hard. I start to shave and we all have pimples and when we cut one pimple it starts to bleed like a river, and we all can imagine the amount of pain we get when we put on that aftershave, oh god!! I don’t want to remember that. That is the part I hate whenever I shave. Now the hairs, it doesn’t get in the way we want, does it now? So I put on my uniform, now time for breakfast. my mom gets up early to make me breakfast and today she made bhuteko maam and I have to eat that with neuro ko saag, I know its her care for me but seriously bhuteko maaam in this early morning, I eat up half of the plate and I pedal all way long to my workplace.

So its early morning and I reach my workplace. I get ready quickly and rush to the attendance machine to find a very long queue of people waiting for their turn to do their attendance since its time for morning duty to start and night duty to get over. It has just been 8 days of work in here and I haven’t got any day off.  I enter inside report to my senior and start doing my normal job that is of a trainee in a 4 star hotel and the jobs I do are the odds one out, like counting the spoiled napkins and get it replaced, refuel the burners, serve tea and pickups from the rooms, this day started with the napkins counting and getting it replaced, I carried all the 68 cloth napkins and few dusters and went to the laundry. The supervisor in the laundry is a good guy with a smiling face but again I had to wait for about 15 minutes with the load of those cloth napkins and dusters as he was busy with other staffs that were in the laundry to get their uniform cleaned.  So finally my turn came to exchange the laundry and then the supervisor started counting the napkins and stopped at 60. He said they only have the stock of 60 napkins. Then I returned with the incomplete set of napkins. I got back to my department to find the boss, owner of the hotel shouting in my department, at the top of his voice, scolding a senior captain of the restaurant for not filling the leave form correctly. I seriously needed a leave because I hadn’t slept properly in few days and I was starting to feel weak. I couldn’t ask him to give me a leave for the next day. 

Then I quietly went to fill up the fuel in the box, and when I reached there, I reached for the rubber gloves and as I was wearing the rubber gloves, that stupid thing tore off, I was wearing it so lightly but that thing tore off and I had to refill the fuel with bare hands. as the fuel has acid in it we are told to use gloves but since my dear glove friend tore off when I needed him, I couldn’t say anything to it nor do anything and as those were a new pair of gloves, I couldn’t ask for a new one. I finished up filling up the fuel for the buffet and then I got time to go and eat the breakfast. I rushed to the staff canteen and I found out that I was late and the breakfast just got over. I got a cup of tea that’s all and I was starving as I didn’t eat much. Then with my hungry stomach I came back to my department. Then it was my turn to pour tea and coffee to the entire guest. I was so hungry and the entire guest were eating a lavish breakfast and I had to watch them eat and give them tea and coffee. I was getting restless with hunger and I told the manager that I am very hungry. He ordered me some tea and biscuits and told me to eat those and work in the back area. I went to the back area with the few biscuits and tea to find my friend who studies with me in Bangalore. He is a bit lazy, bit greedy type of guy. He eats those few biscuits that were for me and drank half of the tea. I couldn't and didn’t say anything to him. Then I started wiping plate and glasses which we needed in for breakfast. I wiped the glasses and placed them in the hall and then I had to fold the napkins and make a bishops hat, 60 napkins and 60 bishops hats were made in a short time but then again 8 napkins were missing and I had to cover for that too, my seniors started shouting at me for the missing napkins and I had to explain them the whole story at the laundry. 

Finally I went for lunch and had some plenty of food. The food sucks but I ate it anyways. then I came back to the department it was 12 by that time and my duty is till 2 o clock, there was no work to do just some pickups and some welcome drinks to be served, the most boring part is when we get nothing to do, not even wiping. Then slowly as I watched the wall clock strike till 2, I stared at the every second the second hand ticked. Finally when it was 2 I ran out to the dressing room and I started to pedal. I was so happy that my duty is over so I was pedaling in super speed and I was overtaking any slow vehicles and in a particular turning I came across a ford figo, it was going slow so I over took it and went  ahead, and the driver got pissed off that a cycle passed by him, he accelerated to his full and came close me and bonked his horn and showed me a middle finger, I was so pissed off with the driver that I pedaled to my fullest and gave him a good chase, thanks to the traffic in Nepal, I caught him in the red light and passed him and showed him who is the boss as cycles don’t have any rules in Nepal and don’t have to stop at red lights. I reached home and was trying to sleep but then a bulldozer came beside my house to fill the landsite and after an hour of its noise I caught my sleep and suddenly I felt something was moving, that was the bulldozer caught the telephone wire of my house, it had only been a day since my telephone was repaired and again this happened, irritated by the people around me I m writing this of how irritating a day can be yet we still survive and live ahead and hope that we don’t have to live the same day tomorrow

:(((((

Not the last day of thirties, it seems just fabulous, never before!

Thirties!! yes 30s', 3 decades of my life which I am living through it, which is never before it ever exists in my life and not sure if it continues to be in the day that comes, because I know very well, time that has lived will never back again.

Even though, I don't believe that the beautiful time, I am living with my wife, and parents, ever change through time and will have different scenario and if it will be, then perhaps yet another beautiful time I hope.

Sense of freedom is the key in this period of life. Sense of awareness, control and flexibility of ability to choose the karma with aware of self beings. Most of time, in my case, I have been watching and analyzing through the incidents of life with involvement and sometimes I don't choose to involve in it.

Emotional, financial, interpersonal and social life has been immensely improved in respect to life at 20s'. One great choice I have been making of my life is not to travel at more distant places which makes me not so credible, though it is a preparation, of course for the next coming decades of my life, i.e. 40s'.

Happy Anniversary 2014

Today, the same day, my wife was entered in my home with a wedding ritual being done at Temple. Alas! a year has passed.

It can be a coincidence or shift of my mind, I shifted to search a new standing, and a new scenario myself unknowingly created. I took a  course of non fiction creative writing  from Colby college in Maine, United states and the professor is Dr. Tilar J Mazzeo.

I was focusing myself at the course , did homework of the first lesson in which I am always enthusiastic for the first time anytime, and every times. Its a video series and you can also do from your home at your own pace.

With this focus on a different aspect of my life rather than my Anniversary, my wife felt neglected, and said, "oh you didn't care at all, "  which is very sad and depressing at the moment. She went to school as usual. I think I should have a plan while she will be returning in the evening. It's now 9:20 am.

Miracle! Manifestation! Light!

Light, we bring Miracles! Manifestation are just with the effect and its medium in respect to light.
So, what is light? series or pack of photons. Photons when it strikes within a medium or a field. It changes with the network of fields and energy potential manifested into matter which is nothing but the frequencies change which is in the form of manifestation ( matter ).

Source of light is the SUN, and other cosmic rays that affects the manifestation when there is no Sun. Mind has thoughts and thoughts have certain frequencies. Intensity of focus changes the physical matters, which means it manifests your thoughts by intense focus, and it is a miracle!

Mind minds with matters. Mind, with emotions, thoughts of different frequencies changes the structure of the manifestation.

 THIS IS THE SECRET TRUTH.

Two weeks past.

Yes!! Two weeks past and we are back to ultrasound, and in the morning, we went to the hospital. My wife delighted when she came to know that the baby is beating its heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heart rate detected was 186, which is quite normal as the doctor said. We Agot the report and very happy and delighted. We are still curious, is it a boy or a girl. Shri guru deva dutta...........................................

We are yet to see the comment of the Dr. Urmila Karki, the gynecologist.

It's my baby. About my baby, many relatives predicted it as a girl because the baby has come in the time when grandmother expired. It 's  question of belief, whether it takes into shape according to the relatives beliefs or my belief what it will be.  The manifestations can be made what we want.

7 weeks and 1 day, moment of initiation of birth of the soul inside my wife womb. Time to recollect information and knowledge about my baby. Shri guru deva dutta.......................................

Grandmother died on Friday.

Our grandmother died on Friday, May 30 at the hospital and later then burned into ashes at Arya Ghatt where dead bodies are cremated.

We finished the ritual of death at around 5 pm which finishes by going into home and eat out.

I reached my room at around 7 pm and bathe again.

Shri guru Deva dutta.

My grandmother inside ICU with ventilator at hospital

Do you believe in rebirth?

What is going to be with us? This week is really crucial. At one point my wife is pregnant and baby's life going to arrive in this week, and on the other side, grandmother is at critical condition at ICU ventilator.

This coincidence is natural.

What is going to happen? rebirth of grandmother? possible inside my wife as our baby?

What are our karmic accounts and what the grandmother wishes as her last breath. It is very crucial. Do you believe on these aspects of life of born and reborn?

Shri Guru Deva Dutta.

Few spotting seen - miracle yet to come!

This week for me and my wife is very crucial. She is completely at home with one or two visiting outside. On last Saturday, she has been seen few bleeding in the evening. I can say it as spotting as it stopped in few times and no until early morning and appeared again in the morning.

I called the Doctor in the Saturday evening itself and doctor her told to be in a complete rest and come check in at Hospital tomorrow morning. On that evening, her mom, and brother and sisters came into our home for the first time after our marriage to visit in an invitation of my father. We didn't let them know about her situation.

In the Sunday morning, we went to the hospital to see the doctor. Doctor checked and told to be in complete rest, even not to go to her school where she teaches.  The doctor advised to stay her at hospital but she refused, and the doctor told me to do her ultrasound and show her the report immediately.

We went to the Ultrasound room and did payment and took an appointment for ultrasound and it was 2:30 pm at the Hospital. We went back home as it is a walking distance from the hospital.

On 2:30 pm we reached at hospital again, but her turn came up not until 5 pm. But, we did it at last and saw the report.  It has been reported that she has a yolk sac present inside the intrauterine space without a embryonic pole and no cardiac activity seen. Age of it as 5 weeks 2 days. Although from her stoppage of last mensuration, it has been 6 weeks.

At the moment no bleeding at all. Doctor increased the Gestofil to 200 mg twice daily. and continue to eat folic acid and vitamin b- complex. Advised to see in the next 2 weeks. Doctor said, we can't say anything concrete at the moment. about the baby. The life of baby may come late or early , it depends.

We are hoping for the baby. A baby is coming...a miracle have to occur!!!

My wife is pregnant.

Such a long time without posting a single blog though I have been writing in Unapix.com for a few weeks or so, and also have earned some bucks that made me some easiness as money requirement is concerned.

It has been a year and more now that I am married and recently my wife is expecting a baby. She needs lots of care at the moment. Searching on YouTube and internet seems my daily task to feed me information regarding my baby at 1st trimester. She has been taking folic acids, B- complex and gestofit twice a day.

Green vegetables and chicken eggs are must for her now. Trying to fulfill the need of it as possible as required. I found out papaya and pine apples are not to be eaten during pregnancy. Similarly, not to go at temples, church at the moment.

The environment is very important factor where she feeds her mind and senses which ultimately affects the baby inside growing; stress free, void of anger are must at the moment.  Fatigue, mood swing, loss of appetite, breast and back pain has been indicated in her body at the moment, and not to worry that these symptoms will go away as the weeks progress.

A thought.

It’s just a thought.  Does it has an impact? or Does it worth what I am thinking.

I found out it’s a wave and every thought we think produce  standing waves of frequencies. Then when I have reminded on this, I recheck my belief of ” it’s just a thought”.

Well, does it has an impact?  I reminded again that a thought can change life.  An idea can bring changes. It is possible if an intention have a determined focus. An intention within an idea is really worth full.

Oh, then just have a good thought, and become a white Angel.

1:30 AM

Hola, hace mucho tiempo ahora de que me he escrito eso blog. He levantado muy temperano hoy. Ahora va a las 5 de a la manana. Me he siento mucho refreso este manana. A new dawnn the sky.. The day seems clear and cool this morning. Estoy escuchando la music en sala. Today is the indepedence day here. Does the day has any significance on my life? It's not that what you think now that I wanted to say. I am trying to say that a world of my life!! A day of independence!!! A day of new thinking, a new beginning that has already been started since 14 feb 2013; a day of my Marriage with Anu. Fui maravillos!!! muy Contentoooo!!! Chevereeeeeee!!

8:00 am, 28 Jan. 2015

I have to say more as I'm going to add some more on this blog today. I have been waking on around 1:30 am, the same hours of time and actually, we both wake up to look after our baby,

Our life now has given up a new hope of rays with a birth of our son - Shreyas. We have been being taken care of him as possible as we can. We are with him almost all the time.

We are hoping to see him walk soon and explore the world by taking tiny steps of his life.

Esperando!

Hola! Estoy esparando ahora dentro del resturante para llegar mi novia desde de la escula. Hace mucho calor! Yo estoy bebiendo "fanta" para hacerme refresco! Me parece que va a llover pronto en la cuidad! Me gusta estar lloviendo mucho!

Last day in my thirties

Last day in my thirties yea sometimes we count years once we are in loneliness.

Direction at the moment.

I just wonder at what direction I am going. Which direction should I have to go? I know I have a choice. I can choose what I want. Sometimes, I don't want to do anything and that's my choice too whether I want it or not. I choose the way I am. I sometimes, go with the flow of life wind wherever it takes like surfing against the waves of ocean, practico la vela, or sometimes I go where my feelings take me where I should be. What should I choose? Which way should I go? Sometimes, this is a big question or I don't think the question and flow with the life. Even though, unconsciously I will be doing that I am going to be comfortable. Sometimes, I am too comfortable enough in the situation that I don't seek option for change. I have to admit one time or another that life is always changing whether I want it or not. To able to adapt the changes I encounter makes me fit to this surroundings or the time itself. Sometimes, when my mind is comfortable to think and analyze the options that I have at the moment makes me more conserved and think before do kind of attitude makes me really secure, and I enjoy this moment. When I choose without thinking at the moment of really tense or emergency, and later on exhaustion I am going to think I know this. So, what is the direction at the moment? I think wherever I will have a gut feelings that I should do this or I should do that; where my heart feels to do or go. Just do it or just go there. If after my heart go there, then my mind starts to think whether it is acceptable to me to do or not to go. Then, I have to change the direction where I was going or doing. But, I have to initiate well enough at first to create a momentum, and that's the key to make things happen the way you like or desire.

My feelings for what I see and understand.

Yes, the feelings, it is really important for how I live here. I see and try to seek the knowledge and view the world through my 36 years old eyes. My eyes seem to be out of balance as I feel in my body some dizziness after constant and untiring seek of my knowledge venture that what I am up to these days. But, it's not finished yet and want to download and jot down all to make me empty again and starts searching and seeking for what I believe in this my mind and heart. The Doctor said," you need to take your eyes rest by closing time to time.""It's getting dry after not getting nourishment adequately." I think I'm spending more time at home last couple of weeks watching youtube. By the way, Youtube is good way for searching for what you want to know. It's an excellent audio and visual application that you have in your Mobile. Recently, I came to believe the existence of extra-teriestial life forms and they had been connected with our human civilization from many years ago. I came to watch some of the youtube videos that showed the true evidences of existence and they had been visiting our earth time to time. As true as hiding the invention of free energy ( zero point energy), this is true that UFO evidences have been hidden and made secret to the general people. I think this is a new belief that I have gained, any comments are welcome if you have any information regarding this. Thank you. A Life Traveler.

Got time to write the blog again!

Hola! Got time to stay for a blog at home. I finished my classes of evening spanish class with Ingrid Estrella from Ecuador. She taught me after Juanita had to leave for some reasons. I am going to take a final test for the class soon this week. I covered pretty all tenses in spanish with Ingrid. I am nowadays eager to go to spanish speaking countries to visit and enrich my knowledge. Hopefully I will be able to get a new perspective in my life. I have been searching in the net for a scholarship that I can get in a spanish speaking country for studying spanish language. Buena suerte para me! At the morning, I have been studying spanish in a University. It's a 2-years course and I am running on 2nd semesters out of 4-semesters in total. I got 88.5% in First semester. Hope to get better with 90s over percentage. I love to speak spanish! Me encanta español!

Life has taken a u-turn since I graduated recently. Going for Masters seem not an easy task to spend my energy at this level of time and situation. I have to support my education myself, and to work for living and build life with my novia seems to be a next step in life.

Another world to me now is learning a new langauage.What and how will this change my life is still exciting for me. I am learning a part of my time with a colombiana profesora se llama Juanita..A nice lady, cheerful and encouraging! I feel good to be with her at my learning phase of my español. It's more to go I feel...Bravo!

World is a new place to live when you are with new people. I am eager to meet new peoples in my life. Give me some space and time o lord and you are always with me I know....Adios!

Saturday

Whom do you spent your time most with determine what are you going to be tomorrow. My Saturday, a going to be a rainy one soon, spent with my other half of my life. These days I'm really spending my most of the time with her. A small apart makes me feel uncomfortable to live with and I phone her again. Whoever I talk with in a day, I have no day without talking with her. Even we don't have talks, we do have fights and it is very interesting to remember what have we passed or crossed the level of our understanding between each other, so deep. I don't find content now without her in my life. Life without her is impossible for me though I can survive for a week or so but not for life, not even two days! God promise! God has given her a beautiful mind and attitude to go on with her. Life is going on, on and on....never knows how it will be tomorrow but the present will determine our future, how we will going to be present ourselves each other with us. Phoning every time we have time, almost all the time, morning , afternoon, evening,and night before going to bed. It seems majority of my time is living with her, it is surrounding with her, it is transforming with her. Transforming myself along with her as I am thinking a wonderful life. I have learned from her how to care people in what terms to your belongings and yours loved one. She gets me into my interpersonal skills development in many ways. She has a wise look on her partner to whom she is going to live her life. She proved me reciprocity is the key in every intimate relationship to continue a long way so that we both get satisfied how we spent and care for each other. Your mind may be in terms of money in reciprocity or your mind may be in showing caring and love in reciprocity or any you think of now when there is reciprocity a relationship will survive for a long, long time. Beware!! even if you can't do reciprocal of what your partner did for you, the key is to do it anyhow!!! Are you sick, don't count it. Are you far, don't count it. Don't you have money, don't count it. Don't you have time to do, don't count it. Just do it any how. Just solve it now, today this very time, no matter what it takes for you, your health!! a not very wise option, but it doesn't count too....omg!! this is very serious!! you have to be crazy! to get it done the way you want. Want it that way and done you get it if the person with whom you are is right one to listen to. No life without the way you want, just want it.
How do you think this way?

Why do people don't understand me?

I try to think myself why the people don't understand me when I do really have to do something. May be I don't have convincing attitude to tell to other people or may be I really don't care of how the people are themselves living. People generally underestimate me when I really need to tell to them. I'm becoming so general while writing this and didn't specify the person whom I am talking to.

I believe if you really stand for yourself whatever the surroundings you have now or the way you have created outside, if you really do what you want to do then those people who tells you wrong, underestimate you often because you don't go around them often or don't do what they do. This doesn't necessarily mean that the way they see things are not being reality checked with the world around them. We all live here and everyone have their own opinion to tell as they see. If things they see are different doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be the same with all the other people around huh huh huh!!!!!

Back again after a while in my blog!

Twist and turn, the attitude you take is very important I feel. I'm thinking of buying a gadget that makes me comfortable posting through my mobile, so obviously a handy mobile with querty type. I don't want to use laptop or desktop as it makes me stay in one place all the time and it is huge too I feel to buy it for myself, silly me!! Lets hope what I will do.

Blogging I want to do it often now, but lets see how it goes. I don't have to college now. I'm staying home doing house-stuff and helping my father in some way.My mum is at Nursing home and haven't made up my mind to see her nor to see my small brother yet.

I'm staying in contacts with Stew, Beryl, Jeannie a few times, but not to Jalyn as she is lost. I hope to call her soon in her cellphone if that rings and picks up by only her. And, a contact to Bina last time told if will come to online and talk to me in skype.

Life has already taken a U-turn, but I haven't felt it yet. I'm talking so general and on the surface which makes me write this way this time.